It's not going great, but it's not going badly. It's a little hard to tell because I've been very busy lately and had more and more strident stressors than usual. I've also been at one of those difficult points where I'm between tasks and have to do a bunch of assessment, organization, and record-keeping so I and the people I work with know what to do next.
One of the most difficult things about being at that sort of point, I now realize, is that I end up having to face up to what I have not accomplished or done well. I appear to have a very unfortunate self-image still stuck in my head that does not allow me to make certain kinds of mistakes and remain a competent and worthwhile person. It turns a straightforward, useful assessment process into a walk through the forest of why-I-suck. I hope that this insight into myself will help me do better at this kind of thing!
The Vyvanse alone isn't doing enough for me, but that is not really a surprise. The problem is taking the right amount of dex tabs at the right time so I get positive effects without a "down" later on. Still working on that.
I am concerned that I am developing a tolerance to the dexamphetamine in general, but there is no way to tell in the short term. I'll just have to track it. One of the ways I would be able to tell is decreased positive effects during the day and increased negative effects when coming off in the evening. The busyness and stress are making it hard to assess both.
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